Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize