she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
