You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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