You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
