I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize