I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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