What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
