i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
