if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My penis needs a shock collar
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize