My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
