so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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