I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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