I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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