No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
