I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
