Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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