I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
