i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize