it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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