WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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