You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
