I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
