return my video game
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
