you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
