I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize