the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
