You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she peed on how many people?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're so committed to being not committed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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