Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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