carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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