Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
