eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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