I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
