Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Randomize
