So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
