It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize