so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
