I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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