I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
