so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize