I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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