I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
