the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
