so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
