Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
