You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
