he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
