Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
