I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize