Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
