when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize