I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
