Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize