ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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