If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
