he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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