i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
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I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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