lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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