Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
