I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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