Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
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Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I still have a little drunk in my system
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize