I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
