wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
