dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize