Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
