why didn't you poke me back
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
