So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
false alarm. still invincible.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need water and some morals
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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