Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
