I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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