she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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