Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
