too bad you live with your parents still
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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